Communication

How do I communicate with my parents? How do I communicate without words?
Well my Mom and I have a very weird relationship. For 16 years or so there was no communication to speak of.  I used to dream of the way our conversations would go. Honey I love you so much etc.... Somewhere in all of my dreaming, it turned to a deep desire to want to know.
    One day, there she was. I reached out to her in more ways than one. I followed her around like a puppy. I tried to do the things she did, in vain...........
   Today my mother and I communicate on many different levels. We can sit down at the crack of dawn sipping on coffee till noon. Laughing about funny times spent went friends and loved ones. Coming to tears dealing with wreckage of the past. Bonding, in extremes. We fight. Screaming matches rather. I ask her things, things that cut deep but I believe I deserve an answer. I ask her what she was like all those years I was in foster care. I tell her I love her and I would have loved her no matter what. Most of all I ask her about my father.. I talk to him few and far between. I try to talk to him. Every time I call he is so drunk I can't understand him. He is bitter and very hateful, that's OK.. I love him anyway. I just don't have to deal with it, and that's OK too.
    I can look at my Mom, better Known as "The Look", and undoubtedly she will know exactly what I'm saying. We communicate without saying words all the time. When my great grandmother Lightfoot passed, may she rest in peace, everyone was so distraught. I was at a loss for words. In the pinnacle of my sorrow my grandmother approched me, she stared deep into my soul, and without uttering a word, she placed her hand on my shoulder. With that one swoop of her hand, I felt a ton of bricks being lifted off of my chest. It was as if she told me "Kellee it's OK, Mamy Lightfoot is in a better place, in fact she is looking down wondering why you are crying." Suddenly I was overwhelmed with emotion. I laughed. I cried. I felt relieved.

I believe that communication with out words is exhilarating. It is without saying the best euphoria  for me. Kinda like making love. You say nothing,"well,:)" gazing into your partners eyes, you develop butterflies. The longer you look the more in love you know you are. We are saying so many things..... Never uttering a word. I love it...

On the highest mountain top in China looking down on the great wall, a village of monks dwell. The live months, even years taking in all nature and this world have to offer. People travel from near and far to embrace the life of the monks.. Ironically very rarely do these encounters involve words. It is truly one of Gods Great Gifts...